Killer Space Bunny

“Humans Are Terrible!” 

 

Once upon a time, in a galaxy not that far away, there was a garden planet that for thousands of years knew nothing but peace and prosperity. Then, one day, a bunny ate a mushroom and started writing things down. They formed a language and became the dominate species on their planet, much like humans are here on Earth. They walked upright and evolved human-like hand paws, a written language and history first through pictographs then words. The bunny’s live in harmony, having been awakened by the mushroom they call Mana or “holy bread”. 

Then the war came. The bunnies to the South didn’t like the bunnies up North. They felt the bunnies up North didn’t really appreciate the Mana, traditional values, family etc. They weren’t “conservative enough” for them. However, the bunnies up North of the planet’s equator were usually in greater number and had a lot more planetary resources as the planet, underneath the Southern equator, was more hot and arid and thigs didn’t grow as well. 

Feeling like the grass truly was greener on the other side the bunnies to the South of the equator began to talk of invading and conquering the land to the North. They felt like they looked down their furry little noses at them and felt they were better than everyone else and hogged all the resources. They felt that these “heathens” didn’t respect the sacred Mana or mushrooms and didn’t worship or go to services as they did every Sunday to worship the Great Almighty Mana in the sky who awakened them from their cosmic slumber and opened their eyes to the world around them. 

War broke out. The South invaded the North. Bloodshed, chaos, mayhem ensued. Most bunnies didn’t know how to react. They had never seen such violence. They had only known peace. They were caught almost entirely by surprise. The North fell, and a bunny by the name of “Fluffy” become the new ruler of their entire home planet and thus began the bloodthirsty reign of “Fluffy Cottontail.”

Fluffy banished the “light keepers”, people who opposed the Cult of the Mana, as they called it, and worshiping the sacred mushroom. They were forced to live in the resource poor regions of the planet. Many didn’t adapt to the hotter, more arid conditions and perished within the first year of his reign. Many others were imprisoned, persecuted, tortured, and hunted for sport. 

Fearing the mushroom cultists would soon kill off any of the last of the remaining resisting members of their species a group of scientists put their fluffy lil heads together and came up with a plan to save themselves from extinction. They created a spacecraft and put fertilized embryos on it frozen. This “seed” was then sent out ironically in the direction of the Milky Way Galaxy. As it entered our galaxy, as programed, by its computer, the craft unleashed a flurry of pods full of these embryos and they each headed for different planets. Since they couldn’t be sure which planets would be suitable for life in time they just sent a bunch out. Many burnt up in various atmospheres. Others landed in oceans and drown or melted in acid rain. All in all many of the pods didn’t survive.  

However, as luck would have it, one such pod, pod 3646 did and it landed on Earth. Thus Killer Space Bunny arrived on our home world. 

To Be Continued…